Tuesday, March 5, 2013

9 weeks left and feeling both miserable and nostalgic...

I love him.
The happiest boy.
Tonight as Kellster and I were climbing into bed to watch the Bachelor, I told him I wanted to look back at the blog real fast to see what was going on at this point in pregnancy last time.  So we did, and it was funny to compare things and remember stuff, and I'm super glad I documented how I was feeling.  I keep telling Kelly that I don't remember having back pain like this last time, or I wasn't this uncomfortable., or I swear I didn't weigh this much before, . Etc.. But apparently I am wrongo!  I am glad I reread this cuz I think I needed to hear this part especially tonight. . . .
Can't believe we are almost a family of FOUR!
"I know that I've been super good at accentuating the negative side of pregnancy lately. But seriously, when I sit here and think quietely to myself, I really do feel like I could add lots more to the I LOVE list. I have enjoyed being pregnant. Yes I am looking forward to running and biking, going on vacations, and wearing pants without a stretchy waistband, but I just know that little Treagan O Behunin is going to make this all well worth it. I love seeing the look on Kelly's face when he puts his hand on my belly and talks to his son. Feeling the baby's kicks and movements is beyond incredible. All of the metaphors about having a stomach full of goldfish and riding rollercoasters don't even come close to explaining what the jabs made by this human being that is growing within my own body feel like. I already knew that the human body was an amazing thing, but this whole experience has definitely reaffirmed my faith in my wonderful Father in Heaven. The fact that MY body can nurture a whole life, a little guy with feelings and thoughts of his own is inspiring. . . Even amid my vain worries about getting stretch marks, having my thighs double in size, and getting disturbingly large baby feeders. Still, even with all these things, PREGNANCY is a beautiful experience and I can honestly say I'd do it again. Hopefully I will do it again, just not for another couple years . . . And I haven't even had the good part yet. . ."


Colston at 30 weeks.
It's true. Carrying a baby is such a privilege   I know cute little Colston is going to be such a blessing to our family!  Sometimes it's easy to get wrapped up in the difficult parts of these final weeks, but really it'll be here before I know it.  So I just wanna try and keep perspective and be thankful that once again, I am being entrusted by my Heavenly Father with one of his little angels.   

The other thing I really want to try to have a better attitude about is enjoying these final weeks with my Velcro Baby.  I have complained to tons of people lately about how clingy Treagan has been.  I've asked tons of my seasoned and wise mama friends for advice on how to make your child less attached to mama.  I've googled and researched a lot on this topic.  I've said many a prayer begging for this to be a phase that will pass shortly. . .  And today I've finally just realized that rather than try to "fix" him right now, I need to adjust my attitude about it.  I'm so thankful that the Spirit whispers little reminders like these to me.  I'm guessing Treagan is probably more aware of Colston's coming than we give him credit for, and he's just trying to soak up these last few weeks with my full attention.  It kinda crushes my little heart that I've been so frustrated with him lately.  The first thing I do when Kelly gets home from work usually is tell him how exhausted I am and how bad my back hurts from holding Treagan ALL DAY LONG.  I need to be better.  Yes it's exhausting.  Yes I'm still gonna get frustrated for sure.  But I'm thankful for the little voice that helped give me perspective tonight.  I think all of our lives will be much happier if I just put a big fat smile on my face and count my many many blessings! 
This new attempt to be more upbeat is gonna require lots of DC I'm afraid.
Enjoying Mommy and Tay dates while we can.
This kid pulls up my shirt and kisses and cuddles with my belly everyday. He really is so sweet.
Here he is sad because it took Mommy more than a second or two to cuddle with him.
I seriously can't believe T was every this tiny!  Can't wait to have another one to love on.